The Strong Foundation of Our Earthiness

     I consider astrology a useful tool. It effectively organizes both the people in my life and their counterparts in my mind. This system thrives on convenient generalizations, but, even so, I like to make sure these people nestle against like-minded individuals. I comfort myself when I think of their mingling within the borders of their elements because then they, too, surely find comfort where and when they can be understood. And, for the sake of drama - ahem - for my own perverse (?) interests, it's always insightful to observe either scorched or saturated earth, the steam around a persistent fire, polluted and/or smoky air, etc... However, I take cover when mass exceeds volume, and the floodgates burst. (FYI, this last, tired metaphor is most certainly the root of whatever "daddy issues" I may have.)

     I read in a book once that, astrologically, I may be most compatible with people born on May 10 (my birthday being September 22). In a couple cases, I believe I've confirmed this ridiculousness. (For who are we, what are we reduced to, without beliefs?) This ridiculousness transcends the aforementioned practicality of astrology as an organizational system, but why stop the contradictions now? Best to stay consistent. 

     "Consistent" is how I'd describe my relationship with my now former roommate. His birthday, just a few hours shy of the magic date, is reason enough for me to put him on a pedestal. The easiness of our "give and take," the solidness of our regard for one another, makes me exceptionally comfortable. But the awkwardness I feel in using the present tense here mirrors the uneasiness I seem to have intentionally infused into our goodbye. I avoided eye contact, as I so often do. I slouched. I frowned. I mumbled. Then, with much self-awareness, I tried to fix it and spoke with transparent cheeriness of the next times we'd meet, and I heard the disappointment in his brief replies. He was careful to change his near-dismissive tone into one that pleasantly complemented my faux cheeriness, and by the time I slammed my car door, I was thankful to be escaping. Escaping the moment, not him. Because I love him. and we "mesh well together." I want for us to once again revel in the strong foundation of our earthiness as roommates. But I'll just leave that to the "powers that be."