The legend goes that the Danube River appears
blue only to the eyes of those in love. Its brown color ceases to register, and
a lover can either struggle or submit while the beautiful blue consumes him. He
familiarizes with insanity after he accepts that he has no choice; he has only
love. Through release, he experiences unconditionality and forgives
everything because of an itchy feeling that death is the alternative.
On the 14th and 15th of
July, 2012, servers caroused about the tables at my brother and sister-in-law's
wedding reception in Hungary. They sported trays that overflowed with shots. We
consumed them incessantly, and I thought the servers encouraged insanity and
emotion. They watched while I tried to keep from overflowing during the groom's
visual presentation, which was at first a history of their relationship and
then a musical, lip-synched tribute to it.
In retrospect, the bride and groom drank in
the beautiful blue and even succeeded in making the brown a little less murky
for (most of) the rest of us. They looked at each other during the ceremony and
created indelible imprints on their minds. Each was determined to remember the
other's body language and facial expressions. Each was prepared to discern the
layers of thought and feeling that flashed beneath the oceans in the other’s
eyes.
I was envious, even jealous. Embarrassingly,
I imagined my own ceremony and created the features of my love's face. I made
severe angles, a subtle smile, and kind eyes that revealed his desire - even
there - before God. He had not only this yearning but also ardent devotion that
both ruffled and comforted me. His touch with the ring reinforced my idea of
him as we stood in front of our immediate family and closest friends.
I got a little insane that
night, but I kept it hidden beneath a coating that only a few knew how to
nibble. I took shots, and I danced alone, and I thought of how scandalous the
waltz was when it was new. People dancing in such close proximity - they threw
it in our faces, really. So, in front of everyone, I did the Twist. After the
fireworks, I got tired and overwhelmed. In bed I got a headache, and the next
day I threw up four times.
They're about to cut through the coating, and we're all about to eat cake
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